Funeral For My Social Life

by Maddy Myers

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1.
06:40
2.

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"Grudge" is a song I wrote about someone I knew a decade ago. "The ice melts" is a song I wrote and recorded a decade ago, for the same person.

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released March 22, 2016

Keytar, vocals, composition, and production by Maddy Myers.

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Maddy Myers Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: Grudge
Didn't want to love you at the time
Didn't want to think that it was real
Didn't want to share, didn't want to care, or open up
Didn't want to feel
Didn't want to live, at the time
Had nothing to give you at the time
Didn't know how to tell you at the time, and ran out of time
There's never a good time.

When I heard distant thunder
It woke me from my slumber
It all came back, a lightning strike, from far away

I can't forget the words you said
You were so young, but so was I
I made a  promise to myself
Don't get hurt … it didn't work
I can't forget that other life
The day you turned and walked away
I've held a grudge
My heart a cudgel beating down the door
But I don't want to care anymore.
I don't want to care anymore.

Got your letter, months ago
Didn't respond. Didn't want you to know
That I still feel raw, even with years to heal, and you won't understand
Why we can't just be friends again
Anything I do say comes out wrong
It's why I can barely write this song
Like squeezing paste from a tube that's dried, in months gone by, in years gone by
I haven't even tried.

Although my smile's well-trained
There is that unforgotten pain
A distant light, a burning house from far away

I can't forget the words you said
You were so young, but so was I
I made a promise to myself
Don't get hurt … it didn't work
I can't forget that other life
The day you turned and walked away
I've held a grudge
My heart a cudgel beating down the door
But I don't want to care anymore.
I don't want to care anymore.

This is the response I'll never send
This is the rift I'll never mend
Let me just tell you what I never said, back then:
I loved you so much that I got scared
It was the kind of love that creeps down the basement stairs
Left among the objects of a life, the clutter kept out of sight
But it's still there.

I can't forget the words you said
But I'll forgive – at least, I'll try
I made a promise to myself
Don't get hurt … it didn't work
I can't forget that other life
But I can let it float away
I've held a grudge
My heart won't budge, but I can still move forward
Instead of lying on the basement floor
I don't have to stay here anymore.
Track Name: The ice melts (a little more each day)
No lyrics.